Everyone has their own ‘special’ method of parenting – some good and some that could be improved upon. I recall when my daughter was born, later my son. I should’ve done this, should’ve done might perhaps improved in some areas. Remarks had been all from well meaning people trying to help me out.
Most times I appreciated their pearls of wisdom because they made sense. At other times the line dividing the ‘yes we can talk about this’ crossed over into ‘the no go zone’ and I would bristle and spit just like an angry cat! In the end, for my sanity, I did it my way. I’m a granny now and I now provide well meaning advice to my daughter who’s a lot like me – you can nicely envision what she’s thinking! I returned to the workforce within twelve months following every pregnancy, and every time I discovered I was in conflict with me. One part of me desired to get out there again, and the other didn’t want to leave my kids. Although I was getting my life back, inwardly I still pondered whether or not I was doing the right thing or otherwise. I worked through it with the support and love of really dear friends and now am happy I did things the way I did. I’m proud to say my children have ended up being outstanding individuals who love me as much as I love them.
The following worked really well for me personally and might also do likewise for you:
1. Take the words of other people in good grace – recognize what you know will be the most congruent for yourself and family. At the end of the day, pals, acquaintances and other family members who give advice on how you should be doing it, live under a different roof.
2. If confused about all the advice you obtain from other people, take a moment to ask yourself “what is essential to me in all this?”
3. Do yourself a favour – arm yourself with the knowledge that if you join support groups or socialize with others, there will probably be instances you are going to obtain unsolicited advice. Simply smile and nod.
4. If you find yourself in states of hopelessness, sadness, and gloom you are not able to shake regardless of what you do – seek out help from professionals. I had post natal depression with both my kids and it wasn’t until I actually started to receive the help I required that I could finally see the light around me.
5. Make a list of three different issues you do each day that induce anxiety for you. With every point ask yourself the 5 questions below:
“What is the purpose of undertaking this?”
“How important is doing this, really?”
“What do I need to do now which will help decrease my anxiety?”
“What is the positive element of this?”
“What is it pricing me?”
When you’re done, put your list away and come back to it later on. Once you read the list again, check if you still feel the exact same about the three points. If you do, brainstorm a couple of suggestions on how you can do issues in different ways. If the points don’t having pulling power and you are ok with it – congratulate yourself!
6.Begin a meditation program. Use this chance for some ‘me time’.
If you are new to meditation, you will find a few great how to books out there, CD’s and meditation workshops. There’s even an e-book titled ‘Book of 10 Colour Meditation Scripts’ so you can record your voice using these scripts written by yours truly.
7. Slowly begin performing some of the things you utilized to prior to baby arriving – it’s possible. Begin with the absolute smallest and gradually work your way up. I started writing bits of poetry, and lists, I frequently wrote lists and liked it.
8. Retain your identity by keeping in contact with pals – even if it’s only by phone.
9. Self esteem might plummet to an all time low; sleep deprivation a typical occurrence, and you might experience discomfort as your identity shifts from the old you to the new you. There’s an upshot to all this (there’s always one). You’ve taken on one of society’s biggest roles – that of motherhood with your child probably a future leader of this country!
10. Make the very most of this time because it will pass a lot too rapidly. Even though a grandmother now, I still remember the day my daughter and son was born. It’s as apparent as if it happened yesterday.
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Go here: Parenting Advice
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